{"id":1887,"date":"2025-10-28T03:23:14","date_gmt":"2025-10-28T03:23:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/?p=1887"},"modified":"2025-12-16T12:55:26","modified_gmt":"2025-12-16T12:55:26","slug":"if-i-wear-it-its-modest-if-you-wear-it-its-too-much","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/if-i-wear-it-its-modest-if-you-wear-it-its-too-much\/","title":{"rendered":"If I Wear It, It\u2019s Modest &#8211; If You Wear It, It\u2019s Too Much"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>It\u2019s interesting how the same thing can look completely different depending on who\u2019s doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If I wear it, it\u2019s \u201cmodest.\u201d<br>If you wear it, it\u2019s \u201ctoo much.\u201d<br>If I speak up, I\u2019m \u201cbold.\u201d<br>If you speak up, you\u2019re \u201cloud.\u201d<br>If I rest, I\u2019m \u201cprotecting my peace.\u201d<br>If you rest, you\u2019re \u201clazy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We see it everywhere \u2014 in conversations, in culture, at work, and even in the smallest corners of daily life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s that self-serving bias that shows how deeply perception is shaped by personal opinion. People create invisible rules that favor themselves \u2014 one set for <em>me<\/em> and another for <em>you.<\/em> The same action, the same tone, the same outfit can be praised or criticized based on who\u2019s doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/smart-watch-821559_1920-1-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-803\" style=\"width:452px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/smart-watch-821559_1920-1-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/smart-watch-821559_1920-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/smart-watch-821559_1920-1-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/smart-watch-821559_1920-1.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not always intentional. Often, it\u2019s a reflection of our comfort zones \u2014 what we\u2019re used to, what feels familiar, or who we identify with. But that\u2019s exactly what makes it worth examining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because when judgment becomes the default, understanding takes a back seat. And when we start measuring others by our own unspoken standards, empathy quietly fades away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe the real challenge is to pause before labeling and ask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cIf this were someone I liked or admired, would I see it differently?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>That single question can turn criticism into curiosity \u2014 and help us see how much of our opinion is shaped by bias, not truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps the real \u201ctoo much\u201d isn\u2019t in what people wear, say, or do \u2014 it\u2019s in how tightly we hold our assumptions about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anyway\u2026 enough of a detour. We\u2019ll pick up the <strong>Forgiveness Series<\/strong> next. Let me know if you stumble upon this and it resonates. <br>Until then\u2026 <em>ciao!<\/em> \u2728<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/if-i-wear-it-its-modest-if-you-wear-it-its-too-much\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":1145,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_eb_attr":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1887","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-lifestyle"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/bow-tie-businessman-fashion-man-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1887","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1887"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1887\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1890,"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1887\/revisions\/1890"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1887"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1887"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hillsinthevalley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1887"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}