BREAKING NEWS: Across freezers nationwide, ICE cubes are shaking... well, melting actually. Why? Because in 2025, the word "ICE" doesn’t just chill your drink — it freezes your soul. I was just sitting in a glass of lemonade when I heard someone whisper ‘ICE is coming’,” says Cube #7 from a suburban refrigerator. “I immediately began shrinking under pressure. Ice cubes have been thrown into a national identity crisis. They were once welcome guests at BBQs, pool parties, and soccer practice coolers. Now, the mere mention of their name sends shivers — not of delight, but of dread. But the good ice is fighting back. Smart refrigerators in Brooklyn and Portland are shutting down in coordinated protest. One brave Samsung model displayed a digital sign: “NO JUSTICE, NO CHILL.” Meanwhile, a growing “Free the Freezer” movement has spread across Instagram, with hashtags like #MeltTheFear and #NotThatICE. Even your neighborhood ice cream truck isn’t safe. “I got a side-eye from a dad just for playing the jingle,” confessed Mr. Frostie of Ohio. “I came to serve popsicles, not panic.” In a land of confusing acronyms and colder policies, one thing is clear: Not all ICE is created equal. But one of them is melting hearts… … and the other is breaking them. This summer, keep the cubes. Melt the system.

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Economy — which way?Science — what’s up?It doesn’t appear the world is changing. The world has changed. Policies are upturned.Life — seems to have lost its value.A robust economy is no longer the solution.Jobs are