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Relationship

Relationship

Life Is for the Strong, Marriage for the Stronger! LOL.

by Omoyemi Akinwande Relationship

For real—let’s be honest. You need to be stronger to stay in a marriage than to even live single. A sweet and peaceful marriage takes strength on both sides. It’s not just when things get chaotic that you need strong people; even peace requires work.

Intentionality in everything is the secret ingredient to a successful home. But here’s the real foundation: you have to genuinely like your partner to be intentional. It can’t be one person always trying to make it work while the other allows themselves to be constantly reminded that they have “options.”

At the end of the day, it all comes down to who you really are. Without genuineness, irritation creeps in, and the relationship begins to feel like a burden.

Sometimes we enter marriage thinking love alone will sustain it, but the truth is, love matures through discipline, forgiveness, and daily choice. Strength isn’t just about enduring the storms—it’s also about knowing when to rest, rebuild, or release.

Commitment in marriage is daily—it’s not just a word, it’s a discipline. And part of that means knowing when to cut your partner some slack. (Trust me, I cut too many. 😅)

So, define your own version of intentionality—and choose happiness, genuinely.

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Relationship

The story behind the story!

by Omoyemi Akinwande Relationship

Even in the late ’80s (if that was your birth era, not the Gen Zs or Millennials—JK), we were raised to believe that a “good woman” never walks away.
A good woman endures.
A good woman stays, no matter what.
And walking away? That was seen as shameful.

To be honest, those lessons made sense back then. Isn’t it shameful to begin something and not finish? To give up without trying, especially with kids involved. What do you teach them—endurance or escape? I still believe in working things out. I still believe love takes effort.

Here’s what life taught me the hard way—there’s a point where stooping becomes doomed. That’s why I wrote 365 Days of Building Strength Through the Hills & Valleys of Life. It wasn’t random, and it wasn’t for show. It was survival. Still is.

Click below to check it out.

https://a.co/d/0gmNsqg

What is not a Poem – My Stooping Story 💔

I stooped… too many times to count.
I begged to be seen—not figuratively, but literally.
I begged to be assured, to be acknowledged, to be loved.
I owned up, proudly at first, then desperately, until I broke down.

I kept saying, “I’m tired,” but no one heard me.
I was told to look away, to mind my business, to endure—and I did, until I couldn’t anymore.

I wasn’t perfect either. Anger became my companion.
Yelling—my second-best friend.
Even though I’m still on this journey, I look back three years ago and remember how I shouted just to feel heard. I even confessed that unhealthy behavior to the therapist.

But the lowest of my stooping moments?
When I had to confront a whirlwind, I never imagined I’d face in that institution, when my belongings were shared without my consent. That day, I lost the little sanity I had left and tried to retrieve it with the last bit of strength in me.

You’d think that was the final straw. But even after choosing a fresh start, I heard the words that sliced through me:
“I don’t love you anymore.”
Words do hurt.

The Journey to “Unstooping”

Today, I’m learning to unstoop—to unlearn the patterns that taught me love equals endurance at all costs. I’m learning that peace is not weakness, and leaving doesn’t mean failure. Sometimes, walking away is the most courageous act of self-respect.

I’m grateful for the progress.
I’m not fully healed, but I’m not where I used to be.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:

Don’t wait until you’re irreparable before you leave. Leave with your life—and with enough sanity left to rebuild.

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Relationship

The Flags I Saw—Blue, Red, Green, White.

by Omoyemi Akinwande Relationship

When people talk about divorce, they usually talk about the red flags. Abuse, betrayal, lies, indifference—whatever it may be. But I’ve learned that flags come in many colors. Some are obvious, others are subtle. Some wave in your face before marriage, others creep in quietly during, and a few—believe it or not—show up after the divorce papers are signed.

Pre-Divorce Flags: Good vs. Right

My pre-divorce flags weren’t about goodness. You see, a person can be good, but not right for you. That’s a hard pill to swallow because “good” is visible, admirable, and affirming. But deep down—beneath the beauty, beneath the mid-layer comfort—there was always this 1% whisper that said, “Something is off. This isn’t right.”

And what did I do with that whisper? I hushed it. I told myself, “Oh, this is easy. I am highly influential. I can manage this.” I convinced myself that I could turn influence into alignment. But influence doesn’t change incompatibility. And I paid for it.

During-Divorce Flags: The Avalanche

Then came the avalanche. During the marriage, the flags were too many to count. They piled up, layer after layer—more numerous than I can recount in one sitting. I’ll share some of them as we move along in this series. But let me just say this: during-divorce flags are the ones that drain you the most, because you don’t just see them—you live with them. They show up in daily decisions, in silences, in patterns of hurt. They become your wallpaper.

Now here’s where it gets interesting. People don’t talk enough about post-divorce flags. Yes, they exist.

Post-Divorce Flags: The Uncommon Kind

They wave high after the papers are signed, when you’re raw and in fresh pain from “all-manner-of-ship” that has ended—relationship, partnership, fellowship, companionship. And in that rawness, those flags can shock you.

For me, post-divorce flags showed up as wake-up calls. They forced me to re-take my decisions immediately: to review avenues of abuse I had once tolerated, to cut ties even further (especially access), and to enforce boundaries that had long been overdue. Post-divorce flags reminded me that closure is not a one-time event; it is a process of tightening, clarifying, and refusing to reopen doors that once led to chaos.

The flags taught me to face myself, acknowledge where I looked away, but the Holy Spirit is my ultimate Teacher.

 

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Relationship

The Ache that Healing Doesn’t Fix

by Omoyemi Akinwande Relationship

I never thought I’d be here—writing these words, carrying this title. “Divorcee.” The first in my family.

My parents, of blessed memory, lived out what many call a rare kind of commitment. They weren’t perfect, but they were unbreakable. My father used to tell us, “I was your mother’s first.” And I believed him—not just in word, but in the way he walked toward her, again and again, through life’s challenges. They showed me what unity looked like. What staying looked like.

So, when my marriage went south, there wasn’t just personal heartbreak—it was a “gen-rupture.” A new word stamped onto my name that had never touched our family line. It shook me. It disappointed my siblings before it was understood.

The truth is, I’ve always been a lovebird. From the days when I had nothing to offer but my heart, I’ve known how to love deeply—even if it was one-sided. I crushed hard, I gave hard, I believed in love like it was gospel. To say I enjoyed it is an understatement. Loving someone deeply? That was my heartbeat.

But life—life has consequences. Choices have consequences. Marriage has consequences. And so does divorce.

The opposite direction of my parents’ story was mine. Where they walked toward each other, I watched my marriage drift apart. Where they leaned in, we leaned out. Where they kept outsiders out, mine invited them in—for help, or for ruin. And nothing good comes from that.

This curve in my life was never wished for, never prayed for, never anticipated. Yet here it is. My reality.

As a mother, what aches deepest is not just my own story but the ripple effect into my children’s. I pray daily that they never inherit chaos, that they understand what it means to walk in unity, to live in peace, to hold humility—not as weakness, but as strength. And because my children are all of one gender, I pray even harder—that they embody manhood rooted in peace, in patience, in love.

I am the first divorcee in my family. It is a heavy name, but it is not my only name. This is where my story begins, not where it ends.

 

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Relationship

Too much of me..too much to stay!

by Omoyemi Akinwande Relationship

There’s a story many of us carry quietly — the story of loving too much, giving too much, staying too long. Maybe you’re living it right now.

You poured your heart into the relationship. You showed up when it was hard, stayed when it hurt, and hoped when hope felt thin. But somehow, your love alone couldn’t fill the growing distance.

and some would even say She walked away from what looked like a “good marriage” on the outside, not knowing the emotional starvation she felt on the inside. But in the silence of her new space, she heard something she hadn’t in a long time: God saying, “I see you. I’ve always seen you.” 
 

For the Woman Reading This…

If you feel like you’re burning alone in your relationship — this is your reminder:

You are not cold.
You are not too much.
You are not asking for the impossible.

You are worthy of love that doesn’t drain you just to feel seen.
You deserve a flame that warms you, not one that consumes you.

And if you’re still there — still holding on — may this not be your ending, but your awakening.

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Relationship

If His Eyes Stay Dry, Your Heart Might Break

by Omoyemi Akinwande Relationship

Let’s be honest: vulnerability is not just attractive — it’s necessary. Even the son of man wept!! Somewhere along the way, men were sold a lie — that silence is power, that numbness is noble, and that real strength means locking emotion behind steel doors and throwing away the key. Now we’re left with a generation of men who call it control, but it’s just emotional starvation.

Ladies, hear this loud and clear: if a man has never cried — not even once in his life — RUN.

Yes, literally. Lace up those sneakers. That is not just a red flag. That’s a blazing emotional fire hazard

So, if he’s never cried — not even at a funeral, not during heartbreak, not at the birth of his child, not in the silence of personal failure or private grief — then something’s off. Something’s buried. Don’t harden yourself just to match a man who refuses to feel. Your tenderness is a gift, not a liability. Save it for someone who knows how to meet you in it — not run from it.

If he’s never cried — trust me, it’s not you, it’s him.

And sis… run.

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Health & LifestyleRelationship

Global Positioning System (GPS)

by Omoyemi Akinwande Health & LifestyleRelationship Omoyemi Omoyemiakinwande

Have you ever been in a situation where your GPS went offline and you didn’t have any offline capabilities, and you are right on a highway with multiple exits, unsure which way to go?

The childless are seeking children, the bankrupt- a bounce back, the homeless ones -shelter, and the poor are seeking a decent meal. But right after one’s primary needs are met, the next layer of problems emerges, and then the next.

This cycle repeats from one individual to another, year after year, and decade after decade for thousands of years.

Now, these problems have become full-blown and have grown into the size of world pandemics, tsunamis, and other crises.

Fear has become real and global, and the value of life and existentialism are being normalized. Innocents are dying while the guilty walk blameless. It is almost as if the joy of living is being stolen away gradually, unbeknownst to us because we persevere. Where exactly are we going? What is the direction of safety and security?

Is it Digital Transformation and Emerging technologies? The rapid pace of technological advancement is driving digital transformation across all industries, from healthcare to retail, communication, and beyond. It’s true, but by 2050, what population of unborn youth will become jobless? What are the plans for them, and what contingencies are in place if those plans fail?

Climate Change is a continuous threat to our planet, and it’s becoming increasingly urgent to mitigate its impact by focusing on sustainable agriculture, green technology, and transportation. But are these the lasting solutions for centuries to come? Indeed, lives come in pairs!

This is just to spark some thoughts within you and initiate dialogue about the future, the role we all play as individuals, communities, and governments to shape it, and share my perspective on the trajectory of our world, encouraging everyone to stay woke!

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